During my lunch break today, I found an online edition of a game I played when I was younger. As a boy, this game filled me with a sense of fear, dread, and impending doom like nothing other than the worst of nightmares could. Don’t get me wrong; I thoroughly enjoyed the game, but anything that can make you feel uneasy looking at a smiley face is sure to taint a part of your soul.

That game was the Atari version of Berzerk.

The heart-thumping induced by the increasing speed of the lasers; the fear of touching anything lest you die; and finally, that inevitable, unstoppable bouncing Smiley Face (Evil Otto) that just keeps coming and coming…no matter how many of the endless series of rooms and corridors you run through. It can really freak you out.

But then, last night, my son and I giggled nigh-uncontrollably at Daffy insisting that it was indeed not “wabbit season” but that it was “duck season” and that Elmer should shoot directly at Daffy, thus dislocating the amuck duck’s bill.

Man, I had a violent childhood.