Oh, yeah. Theoretical scientists? Pshaw. Everyone knows that artists are the real fruitcakes when it comes to gift-giving. Heck, it was probably an artist that invented fruitcake, for that matter. What was the worst gift you ever received? For that matter, what was the worst gift you ever gave? Let us all make fun of you know in the comments!

I told you I had more ideas in this storyline; and I’m not done yet!

Really hope you guys enjoyed this one, ’cause I’ve got a whole mess of similar jokes bouncing around my head, just in time for the traditional Northern Hemisphere Winter Solstice Festival-o’-Capitalism. Enjoy!

Doesn’t this seem to be the case? Even before Halloween was over, McDonald’s was already touting their Peppermint Mocha as a “Taste of the Season!” Feels like they see November as this speed bump between October’s Candy-palooza and December’s Gimme-Gimme-Fest.

And all I wanted was some pumpkin cream cheese for my bagels. (sigh)

And that ties up the saga of the Missile-Toad. Hope you all enjoyed him. I personally thought he was pretty cute. Plus, he loves the Muppets; how can you not like a guy who loves the Muppets?

…No, please don’t ask my ex-girlfriends…

Needed to keep the “missile-toad” in for another strip. I’m simultaneously mildly disappointed, yet somewhat relieved, that I didn’t actually have to draw him this week.

Yeah, I telegraphed the joke a bit, but I was pretty proud of panel 3.

By the way, like the new digs? I snazzed things up a little bit over the weekend. I’d still like to find the time to sit down and really put together a bangin’ look for the site, but until then, pre-made templates will have to do.

UPDATE: Forgive me, but I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that the toad himself was at least partially inspired by Pete Abrams’ artwork for Sluggy Freelance; particularly the designs of Frog and Corsica. And well, since I didn’t mention it before now, I guess I was remiss, but now I am de-remissed. Ex-remissed? Dis-missed? Yes, diiiis-MISSED!

…If Santa Claus went carbon-neutral, would he still give coal to naughty kids?…

Have a happy holiday season, Dear Readers!

I’ve seen “A Charlie Brown Christmas” so many times that I can recite it line-for-line (much to my wife’s annoyance), and long ago got it on DVD to share its message of the true meaning of Christmas with my children. In my opinion, among holiday specials, only Dr. Seuss’ “How the Grinch Stole Christmas!” (and I’m talking the Chuck Jones/Boris Karloff version) comes even close to its level of heart, whimsy, and poignancy.

But y’know what the worst thing about all this is? I can’t decide whether or not Charles Schulz would have been upset by the cuts. Sure they went and chopped up his creation, but how often did he go and license out the characters himself? Every time I see a commercial for Met Life with Snoopy as a rescue helicopter or some other nonsense like that, it chews away a little of my soul. I can’t help but wonder from time to time if I should have held up Bill Watterson as the cartoonist I most admire and wish to emulate…

Then I realize that my drawing skills are only somewhat better than the dreck and drivel that is Marmaduke. Naturally, that helps me calm down a bit.

The other day, I stopped at my local coffeeshop for coffee and a bagel (french toast with pumpkin spice cream cheese, awesome!). Unfortunately, after I had prepped the coffee and all, I found out that their credit card machine was down. I hardly ever carry cash, so I was kinda up a creek. Fortunately, the guys there recognized me and offered to let me pay the next day. Which I did, and gave them a stonkin’ big tip for their trouble.

That night, I got myself a caramel macchiato from Starbucks. To get there, I have to drive past the local shop, thus evincing a great deal of guilt. Of course, if the local one was open in the evenings, then I probably wouldn’t go to Starbucks.

At least not as often.