I’m not a vegetarian, but I’m pretty darn close. And I have a deep appreciation for foods that taste like various meat products, but aren’t actually produced from said products.

In any case, the other day, I was on Twitter and watching folks come up with book titles that replaced one word with bacon (e.g., “The Unbearable Lightness of Bacon” or “The Old Man and the Bacon”). After a while, I wondered what Jane would have to say about that. Well, with the help of tonight’s comic, wonder no more! Um, maybe a little more. Perhaps a large smidgen more. ‘Cause she doesn’t even address that question here. I’m going to have to talk to her about all that…

I made the Eponymous Neaner laugh out loud (yes, for those of you familiar with internet parlance, she did indeed ell-oh-ell. She might have even arr-oh-tee-eff-ell-em-ay-oh’d if I had tripped her sometime during it) with this comic. This strip is also the closest Zoidland has ever come to using foul (no, not with a ‘w’) language.

Coincidence? I think not.

To be fair, at least the Republicans have a duck. The Democrats have…the guys from Doonesbury? Wait, I know! A penguin: Opus from Bloom County! …Wait, that strip ended a while back didn’t it? And then it ended again. And still again just a year or two back, now.

Oh, wait. There’s Tom Tomorrow. That strip’s got…a Geordi LaForge visor-wearing…penguin. Why penguins? Is there some sort of genetic connection between penguins and donkeys?

…I really hope not. (shudder)

I was wandering through the grocery store the other night, and I finally saw it. I’ve heard tales, read jokes, and even personally considered it, but never before had I seen it in real life: A Tofurky feast (yes, the “feast” left out the ‘e’ between the ‘k’ and the ‘y’. I included it in my comic so as to not grossly confuse the two). The box claims the following:

Have a bird-free feast, but with all the flavor and trimmings you’ve always enjoyed. Our feast contains: One Tofurky® Roast (made with organic non-genetically engineered soybeans), Eight Cranberry Apple Potato Dumplings, Tofurky® ‘Giblet’ & Mushroom Gravy, Wild Rice, Whole Wheat Bread Crumb Stuffing, Tofurky® Jurky Wishstix. Each feast is 100% vegan, cooks in about 40 minutes, serves four and tastes fabulous!

Now, I have to admit, the dumplings look pretty awesome, and the rice and stuffing sound pretty decent. I’m somewhat leery of the ‘giblet’ gravy, and I have absolutely no idea what “Tofurky® Jurky Wishstix” are, nor do I really have a strong desire to find out. And I’m still split as to whether or not I’d really want to eat the Tofurky to begin with.

So I had turkey with my family. And enjoyed it. Sorry, Jane.

P.S. I’m pretty proud of my Scrappy-as-Fat-Homer drawing. Came out pretty decently, I thought.

This comic came out of the Eponymous Neaner’s frustration that there aren’t more recurring female characters in Zoidland. (I tried to argue that I had one: the pushy, blonde woman from a year or two ago, but that didn’t go over well.) Yes, I’m aware that one appearance doesn’t yet make a recurrence, but I plan to bring this girl back. Jane needs a friend.

A few years back, I gave up pork products for Lent. You would not believe how hard it is to have a decent restaurant breakfast without some sort of pork product tempting you. I felt like I had a little bacon devil on one shoulder, and a little sausage-link devil on the other. No soy-based angel to be seen. ’twas a tough time, I tell you…

So, tonight’s the first Zoidland drawn on the new iMac. I realized that I hadn’t copied over all my old font files yet, so I had to make do with “Chalkboard”. Let me know if it’s okay, or if I should stop procrastinating and get my fonts over to the new system.

Hope you’re doing well with what you’ve given up for Lent! Scrappy seems to be struggling a bit…

The vegan scrapple that Jane presented to Scrappy is, believe it or not, A REAL PRODUCT! In fact, it took second place at this year’s — and again, I am NOT making this up — annual ScrappleFest, held every year in Philadelphia.

There’s been a long, on-going debate between my brother-in-law and myself over the point of “imitation meat” foods. He feels that if someone is going vegetarian and giving up meat, then … well, they should give up meat. To eat some soy-based, texturized, and somewhat-similarly-but-not-quite “burger” or “chik’n wings” seems pointless at best.

I, on the other hand, maintain that for those of us who only turn to vegetarianism because they just can’t stand the thought of where the meat on their plate comes from, imitation meats are the perfect food. I can have a cup of chicken soup, a cheeseburger, or some bacon with my breakfast, and happily — and more importantly, guiltlessly — chomp away.

But I may have to agree with him on the vegan scrapple. Erk.

Historically, I’ve drawn my comic by hand, scanned it into the computer, then edited it and added text via Paint Shop Pro X. With the Christmas acquisition of Painter, I was drawing the comic in that program, then still editing and adding text in Paint Shop Pro. Tonight’s the first attempt at completely doing the comic, soup to nuts, in Painter. My only complaint thus far is that I don’t know if it’s possible to have it only boldface certain words… Hrm.

Anyway, enjoy.

Anybody remember this Saturday morning Public Service Announcement? Scrappy’s burnin’ some calories tonight.

This week’s comic reminded The Eponymous Neaner and me of our time in Oregon, living among the mountains, trees, and vegetarians. One morning, we helped make breakfast for everyone. We volunteered to help make sausage; partly because we were the “early birds” and tended to be up before everyone else, and partly because we represented a significant portion of the meat-eating portion of the group. Fast-forward 13 years, and I found myself nearly losing my dinner when I came across my in-laws eating roast rack-of-lamb the other night.

Dangit, guess they assimilated me.